we've never been so alone (and i've never been so alive)
by anonymous.mystery95
Summary: There's something crazy, something wild about riding the motorcycle, arms wrapped around him. She feels alive and carefree. It is addicting, he is addicting, and she finds herself falling all over again. or, 5 times josie rode sweet pea's motorcycle, and 1 time she rode him.


It is a dark and gloomy night, the moonlight hidden by ominous clouds, the brightness of the stars shining in the sky denied to those underneath. Instead of its beauty there is only a black night sky, promises of evil lurking in the grumblings of the clouds above, the approaching storm coming closer to the sleepy town of Riverdale, ready to unleash its fury on the town.

It leaves Josie worried, trapped somewhere between the Northside and the Southside. She had been with Toni, the girls having a night to themselves to enjoy the benefits of high school, gossiping and singing, Toni a duet partner Josie never expected, the best friend she never thought she would have again.

And it is magical when they are together, when they sing together, voices blending in perfectly. There is always a reluctance to leave, and each time it is later than before, though the consequences have never been as severe as they are tonight.

Because tonight her car broke down, the engine refusing to start. It is dark and she's on an empty, isolated road, where it is unlikely she would see another soul for hours. And if she did... no one would hear her screams.

She calls Toni almost instinctual. She was closer to the Southside than the Northside and, given how crime ran rampant in both sides of Riverdale, it isn't a comfort to be further away from her home. It takes five rings before Toni picks up, the girl casual in her answering of the phone, unaware of the urgency that Josie was struggling through.

"What's up Josie. Miss me already?" she teases, laughing as she spoke.

"My car broke down T. It broke down and I'm on five percent battery and I need a ride girl. _Please_." And if her voice cracks Toni doesn't say a word, she can't. Josie ends the call almost immediately to preserve battery, clicking it to her chest, rocking back and forth in her seat. There was only one route between the sides, Toni would find her.

She had to.

But until then, Josie was alone.

"Come on Toni, please." There is fear thrumming through her veins, mixed in with the anticipation of seeing the headlights of her friend coming to save her. It has her bouncing in her seat, eager for the tightness in her chest to dissipate, for her to catch a glimpse of a familiar, friendly face. But she has to wait and time drags on, seconds feeling like centuries when you're alone in a woodland area, each sound eliciting fantasies of bodies bathed in blood, of serial killers and hapless victims.

It is horrible, the way she locks the doors of her car and slinks low when she sees the lights of a motorcycle approaching her, the beating of her heart quickening as she hears the engine die. But she hadn't forgotten the trauma of the Black Hood, hadn't recovered from the nightmares where she thought she was going to die, where she thought her stalker would kill her. Josie still shudders at the memory, phantom touches brushing across her neck and arms.

She startles at the sound of knuckles knocking on the window at the driver's side, wild eyes looking at her potential attacker.

It takes a few, long minutes before she recognises who it is. " _Sweet Pea?!_ "

The door opens without a second thought, Josie jumping to her feet at the night of him. "Hey Jos, heard you needed a ride?"

She's torn between throwing her arms around him and never letting go or glaring at him. The latter option is safer. She has too much pent up energy for the first option to go well. "Where's Toni?"

"She couldn't make it," he starts, a lazy grin on his face as he lets his gaze drift down her body before meeting her eyes, no shame at being caught. "So you got me." He shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans, rolling on the balls of his feet as he watches her. His grin falls a fraction. "... unless you want me to go -"

"No! "and the vulnerability in his tone as he asks the question is drowned out by the desperation in her own, Josie reaching out to him, a hand on his forearm to hold him in place. And there is no thought of teasing her, of mocking her, not when he can see the fear in her eyes, can feel the trembling of her touch.

"What is it Jos?" And there is barely any deliberation, Sweet Pea covering her hand with his own, eyes encouraging her to talk. And it's nice, Josie distracting herself with the warmth of his touch, of just how big his hand was compared to her own, the roughness she felt when he brushed his calloused thumb over the top of her wrist.

It's soothing, his presence with her. And maybe that's why she confesses. "I uhh... I had a stalker last year. It's okay now, but sometimes I just - I don't like being alone. Especially in this creepy-ass wood." Her eyes betray her true feelings and she can see his concern, can see the question on the tip of his tongue.

And she can't, can't let this continue.

"So, you know how to fix a car engine or what?"

He can see what she's trying to do, Josie slipping her hand from his own, moving to busy herself with the car bonnet, her voice clearer, strong once more.

Sweet Pea forces out a chuckle, ducking his head to look at the engine. "I think I know a li'l something."

* * *

He doesn't know enough to fix her car.

* * *

It takes ten minutes for him to finally give up on fixing the car itself, no equipment and an approaching storm enough to convince him it would be more beneficial to try again in the morning.

He says as much to her when he closes the hood, Sweet Pea walking over to his bike, telling Josie to grab her bag over his shoulder. But when he turns around she is still by her car, eyeing him warily.

Not him, he realises, his bike.

"Josie?"

"I'm not getting on that thing."

He rolls his eyes at her conviction. "Come on, it's not like it's the first time you're riding it." But he catches her guilty expression, his own lighting up with glee as he puts the puzzle pieces together. "Oh but it is."

Sweet Pea pushes off his motorcycle, a swagger in his step as he approaches her. And goodness, she thinks, Sweet Pea crowding into her personal space, leaning down far too close for Josie to remain comfortable, he's still just as attractive as he was all those months ago.

There is a smirk curling his lips and she wants to hit him for it, wants to erase it from his face. "You're scared, aren't you?"

"No," she scowls, crossing her arms and glaring at him. And good, yes, she thinks, Josie grasping at the rush of anger, clinging to the annoyance. It makes it easier to ignore the lust swirling at the pit of her stomach, their proximity reminding her of their summer together, of just how he could make her feel.

"Then jump on."

"No."

"Well, if you're not afraid to ride it it must be me." And there is a look of smugness, she can hear in his tone. "Scared of being close to me, scared you can't resist me?" His voice drops an octave, "scared you'll want to ride me instead?" And he leans in closer, eyes fixed on her lips. She can't really blame him... she was staring at his own.

There's a clap of thunder that has her jumping, Josie's gaze darting away from Sweet Pea, going to the darkness, imaginary figures dancing in the shadows, ready to creep up on them when they were distracted.

He softens, the smirk replaced with a look of concern. The shift in her demeanour is sharp, and he knows her, spent all summer learning everything he could. "Hey Jos, I'm sorry yeah." And it's distracting, the way he rubs his hands up and down her bare arms, comforting her. "I shouldn't have done that," he mumbles, Sweet Pea looking at her through his lashes, almost bashfully. "But you gotta Jos - it won't be safe to leave you here and I ain't got a car. Neither do any of the Serpents."

She looks longingly at the motorbike, a sadness in her gaze eyes she eyes the machine. "I don't know if I can Sweet Pea."

"Okay, so here's what I got." And she looks up at him, missing his warmth as he takes a step back. And, not for the first time since their break up, she wonders if he'll indulge her fantasies just once more, his arms around her, his mouth... "Either you jump on and I drive you home and you can come get your car fixed tomorrow morning when it ain't dangerous or dark or we sit here and wait for Kevin to pick you up."

The second option steals her attention, hope filling her voice. "What?"

He shrugs, as though it were nothing. It was everything. "Look, you don't wanna ride her and that's fine, but I ain't leaving you here."

"But my phone is dead," her voice drops off, Sweet Pea already having pulled his own from his pocket, sliding it into her hands.

He smiles at her, it is crooked and she knows it could be wider. But here, now, it was perfect. He was perfect. And Josie thinks she may have been staring for a moment too long, Sweet Pea jerking his head up at her, as if trying to nudge her in the right direction. "Go on, call him."

And she starts to, the number memorised. But then a flash of lightning has her mind turning, the thunder way too close for her to feel comfortable. "But what if it rains?"

He knows what she's asking. "I'll be fine in the rain Josie." But his confidence is belied by the lack of protective gear he was wearing. And god, there is a rock in her stomach at the idea of him riding in the pouring rain, skidding on the wet surface, no one around to save him. It is like a vice on her heart, squeezing it too tightly and for too long.

And in a moment of weakness she knows she'll regret, she cancels the call, handing him back his phone. "You better have a second helmet with you."

Sweet Pea's smile is blinding, the boy wrapping his arm around her shoulders, tugging her to the bike. "Of course. Moment Toni called I grabbed her old one." He turns his head to her, and she finds her heart lifting at the sight of his beaming smile. "Can't have anything happening to that pretty head of yours."

It should comfort her, his thoughtfulness, his sweetness. And it does,

but then she is at his motorbike, and nothing could comfort her.

He sits first, shuffling forward in his seat so that she could have enough room to sit comfortably herself.

And she knows she can't put it off any further. With a swing of her leg over the body of the vehicle she is there, she's on it.

It is nerve wracking sitting there behind him, the engine now running, the purr of the motor and vibrations sending her heart to her throat.

His eyes were laughing, Sweet Pea grabbing her hands and wrapping them around his stomach. "You gotta hold on real tight 'kay?" Josie nods against his shirt, her body plastered onto his back. "I'll go slower for you if you want."

"No, no. Faster you start this thing, faster it ends." She grumbles it. And the last thing she remembers hearing is a bark of laughter from Sweet Pea before the engine revs,

and they're off.

* * *

Panic aside, the ride wasn't that bad.

She distracts herself with the song lyrics, singing softly to herself, ensuring the lyrics would fit in the time signature they had agreed on. It fits and she smiles to herself, glad that her and Toni had done so much in their night together, their music developing. And Josie remembers why she had the Pussycats; being solo is a rush like no other, knowing that the crowds are there for her, cheering her, coming just for _her_. But singing with someone, working with someone, _being_ with someone, it's just incredible, it's incomparable...

And she thinks that maybe she's allowed to have more than just her music, that she can have it, can have everything she dreamt of without it detracting from her focus and dedication to it, not one iota.

There is something like disappointment growing in her chest when she feels the motorcycle slow down to a stop, Josie slowly opening her eyes to see her home to the right. It's mechanical, the way she gets off the machine, slipping the helmet off her head, Josie standing on the sidewalk in front of the bike.

It's strange - she had been terrified before the ride and during, but now it is over, she hopes it isn't. It takes a single glance at Sweet Pea, the boy slipping off his helmet, taking the one from her hand with a soft word of thanks, and she thinks she knows why she's disappointed it's over.

He leans back on his bike, arms crossed and he stays silent, watching her with those dark eyes of his, the same that made her feel gorgeous and desirable and wanted and alive.

"Thanks Sweet Pea," she says quietly, not whisper and yet, not loud. It was soft, intimate, and the smile that accompanies it is just as gently. He returns it easily, and she can't let it end like this, can't let him leave without understanding the gravity of what he had done for her. Because he was more than just a ride, he listened to her, he comforted her. He was there for her when she needed him to be. "No seriously," the step forward is hesitant, cautious. And she places her hand on his forearm, squeezing it gently. "Thank you." And she lifts herself up on her toes, Josie pressing a soft kiss against his cheek. It is brief, is chaste, and she makes the mistake of meeting his gaze as she lowers herself back down, his eyes dark, so many things swirling in his gaze. It leaves her dizzy and breathless, Josie's breath catching at the sight of it. Sweet Pea opens his mouth, and she knows he is going to say something that will change things. They were in a good place and she doesn't want it to change, even when she's hoping it does. And in that moment Josie is a coward, she knows it,

she runs.


End file.
